Lessons Learned

We truly never stop learning. And some things have to be learned over and over again before they finally stick. Well, this quarter has been quite interesting, to say the least. I'm constantly trying to figure out how to live my life, and well, it's still a work in progress. Here are some of the things that I've picked up related to the BLF Winter Quarter/Continuous Challenge:

Lesson #1: Balance is Key

Basically, last quarter, I spent way too much time on the Endless Wave Challenge, in that it detracted from my ability to get my school work done. It's not like I didn't have time to get school work done, I just wasn't working smart. For example, I work best in the middle of the night (1am-5am), early afternoon (1pm-4pm), and late morning (8am-10am). I would use time between classes for the challenge instead of using my prime study hours for studying.Thus, I told myself I wouldn't do that anymore.

So, this quarter, I have flipped the coin over and have actually neglected a great part of my duties to the challenge because I told myself I wouldn't use peak hours for extracurricular activities. I guess it's my passive aggressive way of saying I'm not very good at managing my time. What have I learned? I need to plan out my time better. I need to plan out the month, the week, and the day with tasks to be accomplished and hard deadlines so that I don't keep procrastinating and neglecting some areas for others. I've made progress in that I use a planner, Google calendar, a dry erase month and week calendar in my room, and use post-it notes to remind of things to do. What else is there to do?

Lesson #2: Consistency is Imperative

At the beginning of most projects or endeavors, I feel inspired and start fantasizing about the infinite possibilities that can be achieved with hard work, optimism, and strategy. However, it never fails that this enthusiasm wanes and I find myself struggling to stay interested. Not going to lie, I thought the challenge was really cool when it was first presented because I thought that we could literally do anything we wanted. However, after the initial excitement dissipated, I found myself thinking "what now?" I now realize that if I am to remain consistent throughout the duration of a project, I must set up milestones of achievement (in other words, plan better), so that I don't get tripped up by the first hurdle. I find myself thinking about the finish line without thinking about the intervening obstacles and I end up getting knocked off the horse quite easily. Not good. Still working on a solution for fixing this.

Lesson #3: Establish Expectations

During this challenge, I've found myself much more focused on school work and other extracurricular activities and failed to communicate this with the other fellows. Thus, after seeing me heavily involved last quarter, some have come to question my level of involvement. I really should have communicated that this is one of the heaviest quarters for me since I'm taking 3 major classes and 2 of the hardest classes I've ever faced. Not to say others aren't taking hard classes. But, I'm not everyone else and this load is a challenge. Basically, I need to ration out my time better to my various obligations and let people know what to expect so that we can better understand each other and work together.

Reflection. Complete. Enacting Changes. Pending...

That's all folks.

My Cooking Dance

Having no idea what to expect, I was quite pleasantly surprised by the nature of our most recent adventure. Well, that's not exactly true. Considering the fact that we were to meet in the Instructional Kitchen, I figured we would be cooking. And I love food, so I was ready to go. I think it was cool that we incorporated our families and friends into this challenge, because not only did we have a chance to kick it with our people, but the families also had the opportunity to get a first-hand view of what the program is all about. They were able to meet with the BLF staff and fellows, participate in a challenge, and enjoy one of the new features of the Ohio Union. This challenge presented us with the opportunity to be creative, to work under time constraints, to work with new people, to work in a new environment, to confront ambiguity, and to have a good time.

I took a back-seat role during this challenge since I'm not exactly the bomb.com in the kitchen. So, I tried to help however I could. I had invited a friend to accompany me during the challenge and she enjoyed herself as well. Roles didn't change much since I was acting pretty goofy the whole time (but still making contributions!). I even got a blood blister from going so hard while stirring the risotto. But the funny thing is, I didn't even notice until I was finished since I was having too much fun. If you haven't already, make your way to YouTube and learn the Cooking Dance. I won't provide a link since it may not be all that appropriate. Just know that I was hitting my cooking dance in the kitchen. :)

My team worked pretty well together. We set up mini-time goals (e.g. "With 6 minutes left, we'll plate the food"). Otherwise, we started planning what we were going to make, and just took off. Sometimes, people (me) would find themselves with nothing to do since everyone was just running around but it was definitely organized chaos. Since Ms. Pacelli was the only non-Ohio State person on our team, we all listened to her. But, we all contributed to the planning and she gave us plenty of room to provide input. There was a natural hierarchy established, which might have been different if it had just been fellows. The hardest part about this challenge was trying to make the dishes awesome with the time we had. We were excited about getting everything moving that we lost track of time. For instance, we cooked the chicken at 400 degrees for 12 minutes instead of 325-350 degrees for 20-30 minutes. Even I thought 400 degrees was a bit odd, since chicken was really all I cooked when I lived in an apartment last summer during my internship. The easiest part of the challenge was coming up with our menu. Ideas just seemed to pop out of nowhere.

Regarding competencies, I exercised teamwork skills, dependability, and creativity/innovation. Basically, I had tasks to perform, and I did them....BAM! Team work and dependability. Then, I used a container to smash the pretzels...POW! Innovation.

Overall, the event was pretty cool and chill. I think it would be cool if the event was held again in the future, since people were able to be creative and have fun in a low-pressure competitive environment. However! Next time, everyone should make enough food for everyone to sample, because I really wanted some of what the other teams made, like bread pudding. Yum!  But the food that I did taste, was pleasing to the palate.

*Radio noise* Over.

A Little Time to Think

Firstly, I enjoy the essence of this prompt. Many people have heard me say that our generation as a whole isn't well versed in the art of free thinking. We think when we have to but seldom take the time to reflect on our lives unless something drastic takes place. However, it is a bit odd being forced to do so, to dive into the depths of my mind to uncover or rediscover some hidden truth. But I'll give it a go...

So, I had a conversation with Mr. Edward Pauline, and he challenged me by asking why I do the things I do. What's the purpose of this activity or affiliation with that group. WHY!? That's such a stimulating and unnerving word. Why? (see what I did there?) Because, we have to face the truth. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Or can you? I must admit, this prompt has started the reflective gears in motion, because the thought that just came to mind is: I do things because I can, not necessarily because I should. I have an insatiable craving for more- more involvement, more work, more fun, more development, more influence, more distinction, more achievement...more stress, more procrastination, more disappointment. It's baffling to say the least. And thus we find ourselves at this week's prompt: What do I do every day?

Recently, I feel like life has just been a drag; I go day to day on auto-pilot, putting mediocre effort into the 60,000 things that I tell myself I must do. And thus I find myself content, but not happy. Then I start thinking about what I'm passionate about, and what I want to do in life, and what legacy I'll leave behind, and...more dramatic stuff. I find that I do a lot of the things I do because I don't like passing up opportunities, and so I make excuses to do so by overwhelming myself. It's a bit of a paradox. One of the most disturbing things that I discovered recently is that I indeed CANNOT do everything. My performance has evolved into a Zero-Sum situation, in which attending to one area of my life means neglecting another. There's a word for this ailment that might be of assistance...I think the word is...BALANCE. Yes, that's it. One day, balance will be in my life, but until then, let me tell you about my day:

• I try to wake up around 6AM to work out or find some trivial excuse to go back to sleep. This ends up making me sleepy for the rest of the day, thus inhibiting my performance in class and evening commitments. But, I have always heard that successful people wake up at the crack of dawn to conquer the world, so shouldn't I as well? I also consider myself a morning person, so this kind of makes sense, except the part about being a zombie for the rest of the day. If I'm not working out, I normally straighten my room, watch the news, get breakfast, and get dressed for class.
• I managed to set up my schedule so that my classes start in the early afternoon, leaving me plenty of time to NAP, right after I wake up. Doesn't make sense right? That's what I was thinking. In a nutshell, I waste a lot of time. On days that I'm feeling motivated, I may read my Bible, read a book, answer emails, or even crack open a textbook; but, those days are rare. 
• Then, I go to my classes, where I have no clue what's going on because I wasted so much time, thus keeping me from being prepared for class. I'm trying to figure out a way to deal with this issue. 
• After sleeping/dragging myself/not paying attention during class, I have the afternoon free in which I normally occupy myself by doing something that doesn't really matter (Urgent but Not Important for those of you into those Leadership books). I then go to organizational meetings. 
• My extracurricular involvement is one of my defining features. I am pretty well-known for being super involved, though I don't consider myself to be so. It is what it is. If I have free time, I feel like I'm not doing enough. I do too much but not enough. Interesting!
• Then I grab lunch/dinner/snackage, head to my room where I may take another nap or work on some last minute assignment. Then I attempt to study but end up just falling asleep. 

Some of my days are much more upbeat, positive, and productive but in my current mood, the aforementioned description seems typical.

I need to get back to recreational reading, because that always lifts my spirits and gets me back on track when I'm feeling in the dumps. But, if I have time to read for fun, shouldn't I be doing some more productive? Hmm...

Speaking of recreational reading, whenever I'm reading motivational or educational books, I normally type up quotes that speak to me at the time. Here are some of my favorite passages from Crucibles of Leadership.

• Integrity is about knowing what you stand for- possessing a strong moral compass- and having the courage of your convictions; it is a process of self-knowledge that provides a core identity and a spine that remains strong even when circumstances demand that you adapt. Integrity is what keeps the leader from becoming a hollow dissembler or a leaf in the wind. At this point in my life, I have established a strong identity. Now, all I have to do is get my actions better aligned with my character.
• • Qualities of outstanding leaders:
  •          Adaptive capacity
  o   Resilience
  o   Creativity
  o   Openness to new experience and a willingness to learn
  o   Acute observational skill
  ·         Engaging others through shared meaning
  o   Deep sense of purpose and focus
  o   Self-awareness and emotional intelligence
  o   Obsessive and skilled communication
  o   Comfort with dissent: Sometimes I'm bothered by people who always want to settle conflicts, like they're afraid of disagreements. I say let people argue until they start to repeat themselves, rephrase what's been said, and then find a happy medium.
  ·         Integrity
  o   Clear values and voice
  o   Balance among ambition, technique, moral compass
  o   Able to work with value conflicts
  o   Knowledge of when to lead and how to follow” p.8-9
• 
  

• …you only learn when your fear or learning is surpassed by your fear of the consequences of not learning…  Once I get to this point, watch out, because I might just take over the world. :)
• …outstanding performers often seek out the best available teachers- even when, to the rest of us, it appears that they are at the peak of their game or their profession.” 
• But if you don’t have time to practice, it’s hard to imagine how you can improve your performance. There can only be one solution: when you don’t have time to practice and yet you seek to improve your performance, you have to learn how to practice while you perform.
• Even when we have an admirable personal goal planted firmly in our minds, the specter of mind-numbing repetition without a sip from the victory cup can shrivel that vision in seconds flat.” I guess this is suggesting that we need some kind of reward system, some prize for accomplishing goals. But, if you don't know what you're passionate about, how can you reward yourself?
•  Life isn’t a train ride where you choose your destination, pay your fare and settle back for a nap. It’s a cycle ride over uncertain terrain, with you in the driver’s seat, constantly correcting your balance and determining the direction of progress. It’s difficult, sometimes profoundly painful. But it’s better than napping through life.”
• High-impact moves are actions you can take that will have a disproportionately positive effect on your development as a leader. How can you know what those are? Interestingly, intuition is not a bad place to start, because, to paraphrase Ed Schein, most leaders know what they need to do and what they are doing wrong. They just need a reason to think it through and commit to doing something about it. Of course, intuition and self-reflection are generally not enough, and there’s real benefit to be had from external, even clinical, judgment. I need some external, critical judgment. 

I enjoyed this portion of the prompt. Brought back some good thoughts. Anyways, I really can't think of any life-changing crucible moments in the past year, since I haven't made much changes. I guess one could be during my internship, when I was performing very poorly, and I was reading Crucibles of Leadership. I had a wake up call, and turned things completely around and ended up with a return offer from Procter & Gamble. I did a lot of reflecting, and realized that I wasn't living up to my potential. I also didn't want to disappoint all the people who believed in me. I represented my family, my school, my major, my race, my organizations, and myself. I began to believe that I had been hired for a reason and that I was capable of doing good work. I was being entirely way too hard on myself (as usual) and this actually dampened my progress, ambition, and enthusiasm. With some encouragement from friends, family, and mentors, I got back on the horse and finished strong.  Now all I need is a new wake up call. I was "failing" at first, but then gained new confidence knowing that my hard work was appreciated, that putting in some overtime paid off, and that it doesn't hurt to go above and beyond your limits to achieve something you desire. I remember working at 2 in the morning, just because I was awake and capable. Those were some of the best hours- no distractions, no pressure, no self-inflicted limitations, no time-constraints...just me and an ocean of possibilities. Good times. 

Now, how do I get that feeling back!?

What's something that I haven't thought about in a long time...this is a tough one....

The question: Why am I the way that I am? (That was about as deep as a kiddie pool)

Why #1: I am the manifestation of the culmination of my life's experiences, growth, and tribulations.

Why #2: I have grown into the kind of person who thinks about 90% of the things that take place in my life, either before or after something happens.

Why #3: I think  because I feel a need to learn and reflect upon each situation.

Why #4: I feel like there's some kind of lesson to be learned, and by thinking I can avoid making mistakes.

Why #5: I want to avoid making mistakes because of my fear of failure.

Why #6: If I fail, I might not be good enough.

Why #7: (Why does failing mean you're not good enough?) I'm not sure. Until next time!

Peace.

Embracing the Canvas

Creativity is key to expressing the individual characteristics that make us unique. Creativity allows people to see the true expanse of our minds. Naturally, creativity is very important. Where would we be if everyone did the same thing over and over again. How many people like broken records? Right, didn't think so. Creativity leads to innovation which leads to improvements in society.

To be completely honest, I would say that the BLF Autumn Quarter challenge presented me with numerous opportunities to be creative. Our group dynamics stimulated play at every one of our meetings. And this ability to let go and let our minds flow led to a great finished product. There were no BAD ideas (well, some were dismissed), and we were able to feed off of each other's proposals. I can genuinely say that I enjoyed our meetings because not only did we tap into our creative potential, but we also made progress and had fun simultaneously.

Going into Friday's workshop at the Columbus Museum of Art, I was deeply immersed in the belief that I was absolutely in no way creative. I don't consider myself artistic in any capacity (except origami), and I'm not generally the person suggesting snappy catchphrases for programs or cool designs for advertisements. I say this because much of my time is consumed by my involvement with student organizations. I also always saw brainstorming and creativity as forced processes that are only practiced for the sake of meeting an end. But, through the activity, my perspective shifted in that I now understand that I CAN have fun while doing work. I find myself constantly separating work from play, which is probably a reason that work/studying seems like such a chore. But, if I can focus on what I enjoy, then maybe, just maybe, I might find more pleasure in my studies and my endeavors. I also enjoyed the collaborative aspect of the activity. I could NEVER have come up with something so abstract and entertaining as my group did if I was flying solo. I have recently challenged myself to learn how to bring out the best in people, and through the activity I recognized that sometimes it's good to just sit back and watch things unfold. One of the most significant things that I gained from the workshop was that I am indeed creative through my elaboration abilities. I elaborate. I enhance. I make things better. I do have something to contribute to idea generation in that I employ my analytical abilities to determine how to make good ideas great- well, that's the goal.

I'm not quite sure if I have figured out how to carry this over into my daily life. I keep myself constantly busy and don't make much time to have fun. So, maybe having more fun while doing work will make life a little brighter. Who knows? I definitely enjoy everything I do, but it's more like it's my duty rather than my passion. One day, I'll find it.

I think the workshop and subsequent dialogue will allow the Fellows to be more receptive of others contributions. Everyone has different roles, but everyone has something to bring to the table. I hope to apply my newly awakened creative abilities to my role on the Marketing Committee during this year's challenge. Again, I'll focus on my elaboration tendencies and we'll see if my creativity capacity expands. Since I had fun during the workshop, maybe I'll have some fun being creative in other ways too.

Since I'm still WORKING on being creative, I have no idea what an autobiography would say. It would probably be blank since I'm the kind of person who doesn't take bite size pieces of big projects. I just wait until the end. Then, I can see how all the parts are interconnected, how this influenced that, and why things are the way they are. The chapter would probably say something about how I was born on December 10, 1990 in Killeen, TX at Ft. Hood Army Base. End of Chapter 1. :)

Roger That.